Dear Beatnik Swatch,
All hail to you, most noble and beautiful swatch. Gateway to the sweater and keeper of the gauge. As your humblest servant, I treat you with the greatest care and hold you in the highest esteem. For I know that you are a powerful but fickle lord and will lie to any knitter who incurs your wrath. Those who dare to cross you are punished with hand knit perfectly sized for orangutans or gerbils.
So, um, no hard feelings about how I put you in a nice warm bowl of water for a soak and then kinda sorta forgot and left you there for eight hours, right? Right?
p.s. Also, please don’t read anything into those mid-crossed cables.