I need a fake ID

I discovered yesterday that I have misplaced my driver’s license. I am sticking to the term “misplaced” rather than “lost” because it suggests I have simply “placed” it somewhere other than in my wallet. Like, I’m totally organized and in control, and the last time I neatly and thoughtfully placed my driver’s licence somewhere, I was mistaken.

“Lost” suggests that I was desperately digging through cards at the checkout, trying to find a club card to save 40 cents on canned beans and then tried to jam all the cards back into my wallet, failed, crammed the whole mittful into my bag, spilled the contents of my bag all over the passenger seat of my car when trying to find the little ticket I got when I entered the parking garage, accidentally shoved my CareCard into the toll booth as a form of payment, got all flustered, threw cards on the the floor of car, and so on and so forth. A “lost” card could be lying in the gutter on the side of the road. Mine is just misplaced.

So far, I’ve narrowed down the location of my card to 1) at the bank, 2) in a bowl near the front door of a house in a city I’m not in right now, or 3) anywhere else I’ve ever been in my life.

Why is this a problem?  This is a problem because it’s the only form of photo ID I have right now. My passport is located in the same house in option 2 above (I think it is, anyway. Let’s not get into that right now.)

Photo ID is the only thing standing between me and two boxes of wool that are waiting at the post office. I could cry.

In the meantime, here’s what I’m working on. Some big wooly mitts to be lined with rainbows and sunshine.

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