Dear jerks. Please stop stealing my money. Thank you.

Seriously. This is the second time in a few months that someone has somehow obtained my info, made themselves a fake card, and started spending money.

The first time it was a credit card shopping spree starting that was caught by my credit card company before I personally had to pay for anything. But some jerk is sitting at home with a new bidet or set of crystal wine glasses, or whatever it is you buy with someone else’s money at Villeroy and Boch.

And now I’ve discovered that someone withdrew several hundred dollars of my personal money from an ATM.  My credit union agrees it wasn’t me and they will refund me the money.  And some jerk is sitting at home a dozen skeins of cashmere, or whatever it is you buy when you are spending someone else’s money at any store you want.

So. A curse upon money-stealin’-jerks. May you suffer the inconveniences of a thousand souls: may your lineups be long, your parking spots be few, your passwords be forgotten, your name be misspelled, and your pasta overcooked.

Oh, and I take that back about the cashmere. That’s what I would buy with free money. There’s no way that jerk is a knitter.

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